So, How Was Comic-Con?

“You seem like you didn’t have fun.” – My husband

Well, sorta. This was the year I started to understand how all the old-timers felt back when people like me started coming in the mid-2000s. I was one of the mainstreamers who ruined the Con, flooding the movie and TV panels and taking the focus off comics and art.

Now, I look around and find myself judging other people, but primarily for the offense of being other people. This was the first year the size of Comic-Con felt untenable. We’ve waited in lines before, and we’re aware crowds come with the territory, but this year was beyond reason. Turns out, 130,000 people in one place may be a few too many.

I had said the 20th anniversary reunion panel for The X-Files, at 3:30 p.m. on Thursday, was my “must-see” event. But then I saw 200 people already camped out at 11 p.m. the night before, more than 16 hours ahead of time. By 8 a.m., the local news showed the line was already in the thousands, snaking down along the bayfront. And it was then I had an epiphany:

Fuck. That.

No way was I going to commit a whole day for the CHANCE to get in. I suddenly felt nostalgic for the days when we would astound people by saying we waited in line for almost three hours to see the Heroes or Lost panels. How quaint!

This year, it became standard that in order to get into Hall H or Ballroom 20, the two biggest rooms that host the TV and movie panels, you had to camp out overnight. The night before Hall H would be featuring Veronica Mars, Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead, we saw at least 1,000 people already in line at 11:30 p.m. Some had planned ahead with pillows and blankets. Others were spotted trying to curl into the free WB vinyl bags handed out when you get your badge. SO FUN.

Aside from the nuisance of the crowds, I also started to worry about safety. I know the fire marshals are all over that place (their “No Sitting or Standing” signs certainly are), but the convention center is madness when it’s orderly; I can’t imagine trying to evacuate it during an emergency.

OK, in keeping with this upbeat tone, here are a few more of my Comic-Con 2013 Low Points:

1) Nerd Bullies

This year, I felt more physically assaulted walking around than ever before. Bumped, knocked, elbowed, jostled. I can’t say it was all intentional, but I definitely felt a much stronger “Me first!” vibe throughout the con.

In the past, I think I’ve been able to tolerate the crowds because they were predominantly intelligent, mild-mannered fans who respected each other. Now, the media celebration of geek culture seems to have gone to everyone’s heads. After years of nerds hearing how much power they have at the box office, some fans seem to think that power extends to a free pass on standard social norms. “I am who I am, and if you judge me in any way, you’re a bully!”

The truth is, more of those fans themselves have become the bullies. Hogging time at the mic during Q&A’s, pushing to the front of a giveaway line, barreling through a crowd on the exhibit floor because they have to get that exclusive toy omg! Ugh.

Can you please just take four seconds to realize you’re out in public, and that you may need to behave accordingly? Can you realize that you probably shouldn’t come to a sudden stop for no reason in the middle of a moving crowd? And can you especially not come to a sudden stop because you just NEED to take a picture of the Once Upon a Time in Wonderland billboard on Petco Park? Because you absolutely can’t see that logo anywhere else? Here, Google and I will save you the trouble:

2) Geek Greed
One of the very few panels I did get to see was for Disney Channel’s smart and funny animated series Gravity Falls. As the discussion got underway, Disney Channel staffers started handing out Dipper hats to the crowd. It was clear they were giving them out to everyone, and would be making their way down all of the rows. But nope, that didn’t stop the obnoxious dork in front of me from squirming in his seat and waving his hand around frantically like he was signaling to shore.

In the other rows, people would keep passing hats down the line before receiving one for themselves. Nope, not Dorky the Selfish. As soon as a hat touched his precious little fingers, he grabbed it and popped on his head, clapping to himself.

It may be important to point out here that this was a grown-ass man. I feel so sorry for the little kids who actually honor the rules, who ask polite and concise questions at panels and quietly wait their turn for giveaways–only to be pushed around by the “adults” who should know better.

I also found myself more turned off this year by the gross consumerism of the exhibit floor. Anyone who says the economy hasn’t recovered should take a stroll through the caravans of overstuffed bags, packed to the brim with toys, posters, T-shirts, action figures, you name it. I’ve certainly dropped my share of dollars on that floor, but I don’t recall seeing this level of GIMME GIMME-ness before. A friend of mine who runs a toy booth confirmed they had a record con, selling more in one day than they have over four days in past years.

At one point during Preview Night, I saw a custodian outside the Mattel booth breaking down stacks of cardboard boxes that had been emptied of toys and piling them into a trash bin. I realized it’s very likely there were people spending more money that night than this guy made in a week. I’m all for people spending the money they earn however they want, but in that moment, it felt like a huge waste.

3) Marketing (Yawn) Laziness

Yes, we all know there’s a ton of marketing at Comic-Con, and in past years, much of it has been very clever. WB scored a big win this year by designing their bags as backpacks with capes you could unfurl. The most used marketing pick-up line was easily, “Do you need to charge your phone?” I got hit with that at least three times within one afternoon walking through the Gaslamp. FOX wins smart points for keeping their charging cords short, forcing you to place your phone on a platform as it charged, and leaving you with no choice but to give the video promo for Cosmos your full attention.

But overall, the marketing efforts were just… blah. NBC placed a lot of bets on “Who Is Red Reddington?” being the buzzworthy question of the con. “Who cares?” seemed to be the general response. I felt terrible for the hired street team forced to promote CBS’ Hostages by wearing black ski masks in 75-degree sunlight. And the cacophony of people pushing fliers in my face had me thinking about Mitch Hedberg all weekend. (“Here, you throw this away.”)

Speaking of comedians, they were among the High Points of the trip. (I swear there were some.) We went to Patton Oswalt’s Comedy Central taping, which was fantastic minus the terrible, heat-stuffed venue, and we got to see Bo Burnham’s show again, which I’m glad to report was just as much fun the second time around.

As tired as I was by Night 4, it was the happiest I’d been at the con all weekend. The crowds had left, the air was crisp, and I suddenly felt like the whole thing had gone by too fast. As miserable as I had been for four days, I couldn’t wait to do it all over again. I wish I knew how to quit you, Comic-Con. See you next year.